Tuesday, August 31, 2010

What's going on lately...

I'm looking for a second job. My hours are really hit and miss with my current job and I am bored out of my mind all week long, so I would like something that I could work hourly all during the week and then on the weekends work at my current job. Obviously a third income wouldn't hurt anything.

We are saving to buy a wood burning stove to heat our house. We have propane heat which is very expensive and we are planning to buy a wood burning stove that heats water and the pipes with water will run into our house and have a coil type thing that goes through the furnace and our existing duct work and furnace will just blow the air through the hot water coil. (From what I understand.) It's August 31... and Michigan... so it will not be along at all until we are going to be needing heat.

Fortunately for us, we spent last winter in a basement with no heat. Most of the time it was in the high 40's where we were living. Yes... it was FREEZING. We had space heaters in our bedroom but at the highest I'm sure it was in the high 50's. We invested in a heating blanket lol. Best $30 we ever spent :)

So I think we are conditioned to not needing the heat very high, and that will save us money too!

I have a few quilts that I'm working on that potentially I might like to sell. I really like them though, so I might end up giving them as gifts, I have no idea.

Today and yesterday, like most Mondays and Tuesdays since I haven't been working during the week... I am pretty unproductive. Yesterday I basically did nothing. I cleaned the kitchen and made dinner and dessert, but that was about the most of what I did.

Today I have done nothing until about an hour ago. I went and cleaned out and organized and rearranged my sewing room. I'm super happy with it, and I really like it. I think the next thing I'm going to do is move the dog cages out of our bedroom. As classy and fancy dog cage night stands look... I think I'm done with the cages in the bedroom. We have a landing at the top of the stairs that is not really used for anything that I think would be a good spot to put the dog cages. VERY soon I'm going to need to buy a new cage for Dixie. She's growing out of her 48" tall cage very fast! We borrowed a cage from Jack's parents and we can return it any time now and replace it with her grown up sized cage. Unfortunately, one can't purchase that size cage at your average pet store.

Our housewarming party is coming up. We have a list of things that we wanted to complete before our party. One of the things that hasn't been finished yet is a little bit of power washing on the house. I did most of the power washing on Sunday after church. I still have to get up on the top of the garage and power wash the siding up there. I painted the second bathroom last week (I think it was only last week...) and the only room besides the basement that isn't finished yet is the 2nd bedroom upstairs. There is a bed in there and a nightstand with a tv sitting on the floor, but the walls and ceiling haven't been painted.

Of course I don't want to paint that room because eventually that was supposed to be our child's room. And I wanted to have a reason to paint it and a color to paint it instead of just some neutral color and put a big bed in it. I wanted to put a crib in it. Ugh. But I digress.... I can't decide what to do with that room, so I think it will be left as it is. For now. I don't think I'm ready to emotionally tackle that room.

I am starting to think of a menu and write down recipe ideas. I am so looking forward to our friends and family finally coming over and enjoying a big party at our house. We worked so hard to buy this house and make it what it is so far, and I'm so pumped about it.

Maybe we will be able to have a holiday party or two here this year!

I guess I could get back to crafting and getting up and doing things for the day. I don't think it would be too wise to get up on the roof of the garage without Jack home, just in case.

I'll leave you with a picture of my favorite room in the house... my sewing room:



Monday, August 23, 2010

Praise you in this storm!

I have been writing in a journal since I was 10. I have been writing in an online journal for 8 years. I have always felt like I express myself better through the written word.

Writing is my most successful coping mechanism. I have been through a lot on my short 24 years on this Earth, and I feel like I have come through my life with God shaping and molding me into a better version of myself every step of the way.

Infertility is the hardest thing I have ever gone through, but it's not the only hard thing. I have had a lot of hard times. I know by being able to look back and hindsight is 20/20.

It's amazing to watch God's plan unfold in front of me. It's amazing to see how God used such small and seemingly insignificant situations to change our lives and mold us.

At this point I'm hoping for a lot of good to come our way. In our almost 3 years of marriage we have gone to Hell and back and somehow managed to stay together. We have learned how to protect our marriage from every angle. Satan has tried to rip us apart using our friends and our families as tools. Satan has tried every single thing he can think of so far and tried to take away every thing he thought was holding us together.

And we are still here.

Still clinging to each other and clinging to God.

I feel like Job. Obviously, not to the extreme that Job suffered, but I feel like Satan was behind Jack's pay cut in Wisconsin and then Jack's contract ending and not being renewed and us having to move home quickly so we weren't stuck 500 miles away with no way out. I feel like Satan has everything to do with our infertility. We have suffered a lot of losses. Loss of jobs, loss of families, loss of support systems, loss of friends and loss of dreams.




"Once again, I'll say Amen and it's still raining..."

Friday, August 20, 2010

Things are quiet around here

Although, what can we really expect. We have no plan and no plans for moving in any direction on this. I feel like this feeling of quiet and waiting is going to last a long time.

Last night we had Jack's brother and his fiance over for dinner. Kelly and I visited and the boys did... who knows what. Probably played with Jack's toys.

For someone who always likes to have a plan, it's an interesting feeling to not. It's a surprisingly powerful feeling too... to completely give up control of this situation to God makes me feel like something is finally going to change. It's out of my hands and into the most capable hands there are.

The night before last we walked the Woodward Dream Cruise. I walked a little over 5 miles in flip flops... that was the stupidest thing I've done in a long time. My poor feet are still recovering!

And I'm painting the second bathroom upstairs. I think I might paint the guest bedroom next. I just need to pick a paint color. But that room is a little trickier too because I need to paint the ceiling too.

Second bathroom upstairs looks great... better get to that second coat!

Monday, August 16, 2010

MFIF - Male Factor Infertility

What the world is telling us today: (We got Jack's test results back.)
Jack is infertile (t00) and the ONLY way you will ever have a CHANCE at getting pregnant is through invitro fertilization (IVF) with ICSI. (ICSI - intracytoplasmic sperm injection - which is a fancy way of saying "inject sperm in the middle of the egg". ICSI is a very effective method to fertilize eggs in the IVF lab after they have been retrieved from the female.)


What I am hearing God speak into my heart loud and clear:

There are many things that could be wrong reproductively speaking with a man, and the thing that I made Jack with, is the ONE thing that has no earthy cure. The one thing that no doctor or treatment or medicine can fix. Lean on me, let me work MY miracles in your life. Let me show you and the world that through God, all things are possible.


We will NOT be weighed down by these results. We will not be defined by this diagnosis. We will trust that God has a reason for this and that part of that reason is that we can show the world that if we lean on God that HE has the cure and He will right whatever wrong there is. It's amazing to me that He would choose the one problem that has no earthly cure. No pill or medical treatment, nothing Jack can do or change can change the shape of his sperm.



What can we do from here? Continue to be a witness. I feel like we have just been given the stone like David and told to throw it at Goliath. So God please take aim with our throw, and guide it. Guide our testimony to show everyone that You are God and Lord of our lives. Let our journey to be parents be an example to others of your greatness and how amazing and awesome you are. We will not put too much weight on the things of the world. We will not put all of our hope in doctors and drugs and treatments. The ONLY thing we have hope in now is 100% God. God will guide us and lead us through this.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

One picture for today.




That is my Dixie. She's a 4 1/2 month old English Mastiff puppy. Yes, that's right, I said puppy. Bessie, my 60lb yellow lab is on the right.

Friday, August 13, 2010

We've been married for 1,000 days today!

1,000 days sometimes feels like an eternity, but wow has it flown.

Since we've been married we've done and gone through so much together.

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We were married November 17, 2007 at a little church in front of family and friends.

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On February 1, 2008 we moved to Wisconsin from Michigan. We went from cold to COLDER.

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On February 12, 2008 we brought home our first furry canine bundle of joy... Bessie May!

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My cat took to her right away... as you can see.
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She's been a daddy's girl ever since.

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we spent most of our weekends driving back to Michigan, a 1,000 mile round trip, to visit family.
This was taken in March, I believe. Our first Easter.

Bessie got bigger and bigger and her and the kitty played all the time.
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We hung out with friends and visited family every chance we could. We found our favorite places to eat and favorite things to do in Wisconsin. Around the time we got Bessie we decided that we were ready to add some human babies to the mix.

We spent as much time as enjoying Bessie and enjoying each other as we could.
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In May of 2008 we got up at 3:30 one morning and drove to Fort Wayne, IN for my friend's wedding!
Bessie came with us, man what a LONG day! We got to the wedding around 1pm I believe and then we left to go back home to Wisconsin at about 4pm. But getting to be there with my oldest friend on her big day was priceless :)
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Another friend that we went to school with since middle school came too! Hi Jenna!

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Didn't Ashley look stunning?? :) Never have I seen a more happy bride !

July 4, 2008 we drove to Michigan to celebrate Jack's Grandma's birthday!
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Jack Sr just adored Bessie!


July of 2008 we went to the EAA air show in Oshkosh, Wi, spent a lot of time hanging out with my family who is from the area!

I took this picture of the bomber that flew right over our heads, no zoom at all.
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My uncle has a hangar at the airport and we had the best seats in the house... for FREE!
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We went with my cousin and his girlfriend (now wife) to the drag strip not too far from our apartment.
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This guy loves all things cars... :) Check out the turbos on that bad boy!

Also we met Bessie's brother!! Her brother from her same litter lived in our apartment complex! It was pretty amazing because we got her about an hour and a half away from where our apartment was. Bessie's brother's name is Brewer and we met his parents along with him, of course, and they quickly became the best friends we ever could have made in Wisconsin!
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Jack and I began to get involved at our church, volunteering for as much as we could. We were a part of the OAKS ministry, Organized Acts of Kindness and Service. We helped whenever there was a need and we could fill it. We met one friend there by helping her move out of her apartment into a Habitat Home that she recieved! I worked in the church nursery, running the 0-11 month old room. And Jack and I together volunteered to mow the lawn at the church.
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Brewer's parents, Lindsey and Craig got married in August! I planned and practiced for weeks to sing in their wedding!
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And then unfortunately Jack's Grandpa went home to Glory, so we went back to Michigan that weekend for the funeral, so we missed the wedding!

but we got to see family, and we stayed with my mom.
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Of course while we were in town, my mom put Jack and my little brother to work!
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Shortly after, Jack's Grandmother passed away as well, and then right after that my Aunt Brenda and then my Grandpa passed away. I believe the weekend of Jack's Grandma's funeral was the same day as my Aunt Brenda's funeral. We were getting pulled in all different directions, Brenda's funeral was in Minnesota and Jack's Grandma's was in Michigan.

In September, 2008, my best friend from as far back as I can remember came to visit with her husband!
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(Same couple, Matt and Ashley, who got married this May!)

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Jack and I after driving down to visit his Grandma in the hospital and visiting my Grandpa who was sick.



October 2008 came and it was a time of visiting with friends and family!
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Lindsey with Brewer and Bessie

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Craig and Jack doin what boys do... playing with Jack's slot car track.


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Jack's parents came to visit us for the first time since we moved out to Wisconsin, so we took him to where all of the trucks that Jack worked on were stored.

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We took Jack's parents to my uncle's hangar, and here is my uncle Pete showing them what we can see from the air show at his hangar.

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We went to the pumpkin patch and petting zoo with my cousin Mike and his girlfriend (now wife)

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Jen and I holding chickens!

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Mike and Jen like to make children cry ;) Just kidding love you guys!

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Jack and I on the hay ride!

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My pumpkin

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Jack's pumpkin... he's always gotta show me up!


Lindsey & Craig came over to decorate cookies and hang out!
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Bessie begging

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Chatting with the newlyweds

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Craig loving on my kitty!

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And of course the kids playing on the floor!

Over Halloween my best friend Ashley came with her boyfriend (now husband!)
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November 2008 brought our first anniversary!!
We went to the Upper Penninsula to my Aunt and Uncle's amazing house that they have built in Trout Lake. We spent the weekend up there, and they had left us some steak and potatoes to cook for our anniversary meal! :)
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When we came home, we went out to eat at The Melting Pot for some delicious anniversary fondue !
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We broke our cardinal rule of not traveling through snow and went home and surprised Jack's family by showing up for Thanksgiving at his grandparents house.
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December brought lots of snow and we enjoyed it as much as anyone can enjoy 50 below before the windchill.
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We bought our dining room table for our Christmas present to each other!
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I went and decorated Christmas cookies with friends

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and it was UNBELIEVABLE how many presents people sent us from back home!!

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Our apartment was all decked out and ready for Christmas

A few days before Christmas my dad and Kelly came to visit!
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Kelly with Bessie

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Dad taking a picture of me taking a picture of him!

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We took Dad and Kelly out to our favorite restaurant there, Nakashima... a Japanese Steakhouse!

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While Dad and Kelly were in town we had all of Dad's family over that lived in the area!

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We played bananagrams ;)

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Then Christmas Day came!!

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Everyone was having a good time

We set the table for the special guest to arrive ON christmas day!
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My mom!!!

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Mom admiring the quilt I made her!

January 2009 brought more cold weather... so our animals cuddled.
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Daren and Kelly came to visit us for New Year's Eve... But for some reason I have no pictures of that. We took them to Nakashima too :)


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Jack's 28th birthday!

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Cake and ice cream I made him

February 2009 brought my 23rd birthday!
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Dad and Kelly sent me quilting books!

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Jack set up a pinata in the garage for me :)

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Jack's Truck all covered in snow in the parking lot.



Spring of 2009:
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Jack and Bessie sleeping in one Saturday morning.

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I went with my Aunt Dottie and Jen to a Red Had event called Ladies Must Swing!

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Jen, Dottie and I

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Lindsey brought over her new baby Kyli (Honeymoon baby!)

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Jack and Craig with our puppies

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Craig messing with my kitty

Summer of 2009... We moved into a new apartment.... went camping and hung out.
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Camping at High Cliff State Park

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me having fun

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We took the Harley to our favorite drive in!

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Ardy & Ed's! In Oshkosh, Wi


Fall of 2009:
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We went to a sled pull in Oshkosh!

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Jack's garage at our 2nd apartment before he had to pack it all up to move home.


Jack's Aunt and Uncle rented us their basement until Jack got a job again and we bought our house!
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This is me cooking with Bessie at my Mom's house right after we moved back to Michigan.

We closed on May 5, 2010!
house

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I painted the whole house!!


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Got a new puppy!! Dixie... English Mastiff, born April 3, 2010.


My Best friend got married, May 2010
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I stood up as her matron of honor! Just like she did in my wedding!


My cousin Mike from Wisconsin got married and we drove back to Wisconsin with the family for the wedding!


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Siblings with Jack

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Hanging out with Kelly @ Holly Hotel for afternoon tea!

So far this summer we've spent our time working on the house, since we bought it we have:
  • painted the entire house ceilings and all
  • new carpet in the whole house except basement
  • bought new cabinets for the kitchen
  • new water softener
  • new water heater
We are just trying to hang up pictures now and make it feel more like home.

I got a dirt bike...
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Dixie is Bessie sized now and she's only 4 months old!
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And This is Jack and I last weekend... I love you babe more than I did 1,000 days ago when I promised that I would love you for the rest of my life. There is NO one that I would have wanted to have this adventure with than with you :) You're my entire world babe!

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