Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Mother's Day

It's amazing how horrifying those two words together are in the world of infertility. They are two simple words, but when you put them together... they create such an unbelievable level of anxiety, terror, pain, heartache and sorrow.

At our church, when you walk in the front doors, you immediately walk through a hallway where people stand on either side and greet and welcome you and shake your hand. Also, there are people standing on the sides of the hallway passing out fliers to those they believe will be interested. A few weeks ago, I got the flier for the month of April's calendar for the Women's ministries. On Sunday, there was a woman with a table set up with happy colors and all sorts of fliers... and then all of a sudden, I see that it's for the Mother's Day brunch. Queue panic.

Without even thinking, I literally turned my head away from her and looked at the other wall, then turned my entire body away from her so that my back was to her and walked sideways down this hallway. I probably looked ridiculous. I didn't care. The last thing on Earth that I wanted to happen was for her to smile and try to hand me that brochure. How do you smile and reply, "Nope, that doesn't apply to me."

I know there are cynics out there who will think my actions are ridiculous and unnecessary. I am sure there are people out there with hearts so hardened to others' pain and struggles that will think of me as rude for not even acknowledging this person. I know, because I have dealt with these people in years past around this "holiday." Even family members are so self involved that they will literally say, "Well I'm a mother, you should get over yourself for one minute and celebrate other people." In telling me that I'm being selfish, they spew out some ridiculous selfish statement about how they need to be celebrated themselves. Really, so the other 364 days this year, you're going to be celebrating me? You're going to be praying for me? I don't and didn't think so.

This day is hard by itself, but people challenging and berating people struggling with infertility is what makes it so hard.

1 comment:

  1. I hear you Hon!! I find mothers day so difficult. I have had the experience of being in church on mothers day as they hand out a treat of some kind to all the mothers and you see the split second thought of should I give her one fly across their eyes, which is fine because they're weighing whether they'll offend or not but on one occassion the person obviously thought this polite and calculated concern through in their head and decided to give me the gift but then said outloud(or perhaps thought accidently outloud!) to me, well you're a woman so I suppose it's ok!!!!
    I wanted the ground to swallow me up at that point. How more invalid could I have felt at that moment. Ha! If I had known in advance I would have turned and avoided as you did, so no shame! I know it sounds petty but it's like a winding punch to the gut :-/ i think everyone in this situation understands
    Loves x
    (Following from HP. I'm lisa C)xx


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