As you're reading this, I want you to picture me like an old beat up car that has run out of gas and is sputtering and coasting to a halt.
Yup that's me today.
I woke up relatively early this morning, and thought that I would prepare myself for my morning toilet hug by taking some of my Zofran. Said toilet hugging never happened. As Jack was leaving for work, I asked him to bring me a bowl of applesauce. (Applesauce is my safe food of choice... it is the least uncomfortable coming back up.) I finished my applesauce before Jack got to work. I watched a little of the Duggar Family on TLC this morning and went downstairs and made myself a piece of toast.
Once I got my toast down, I began browsing vlogs on YouTube. (By the way... It's my biggest pet peeve now when people call them V-Logs. It's a vlog. All one word. Like Blog only Vlog. Video Blog = vlog. /rant) I found this new person that I love. Her name is Carla... who incidentally does say v-log instead of vlog... but I love her enough that I can overlook it. If I knew her in real life, I'd totally be her friend. Just sayin'.
Then suddenly the unthinkable happened... The neighbor's internet went down. (Yes, we still hot link off the neighbors... but now with their total permission... Thanks Dave and Judy!) This makes me especially sad because I'm somewhat internet savvy... as in, I know how to reset my router. But when the router is not in my house... I cannot reset it, and even though we have permission to use their internet and were invited to do so... I still feel weird hiking through the woods and knocking on their door and asking them to reset their router... that's just weird.
So at 9:30, no internet to speak of no matter how many times I refresh, and nothing good on TV... I made an executive decision. It was time to take a shower.
After shower, I got dressed... which is another thing that doesn't happen very often as of late... Usually I am so wiped out and exhausted by my shower that all the energy I can muster is to put on PJ's and hop back into bed. I brushed my hair (I know!!) and decided to venture out of the house.
My best friend's baby shower is on Sunday and I am making my version of Bakerella's Cowgirl Cookies. I have the bell jars and I just needed the flour, sugar and m&m's. I also needed cute baby animal fabric to go on top and some cute ribbons to tie on the instructions. Off to Joann Fabrics I went.
Joann had it's normal incompetence at the cutting counter, but this is the norm. I think it's a job requirement to work at the cutting counter at Joann. 1.) You must be slow as molasses. 2.) You cannot cut a straight line to save your life. Done and done. Also you must always appear to loathe each and every customer that walks up to be served. I picked up a half a yard of the jungle babies cotton fabric and some cute green ribbon with polka dots on it.
After Joann, I was feeling kinda spunky and had a check that needed to be deposited in my pocket... so I thought oh hey... what the heck. I'll stop by the bank. I deposited my check and took care of some super secret banking (I promise to reveal later on) and went paperless on my account summaries... (go green - HA... it's just annoying to get so many papers and our burn pile is over the top right now.)
Then this is where I started to make big mistakes...
I stopped at the grocery store. I knew that I needed M&M's, flour and sugar and brown sugar for the cowgirl cookies... but I also knew that we needed groceries... like desperately... like Jack has been grocery shopping for 2 months and the most nutritious thing in the house is a half bag of Doritos, desperately. I convinced myself that if I just pushed the cart very slowly and took my time that I would be fine.
Well, like I said, Jack has been grocery shopping for 2 months. And so that means that we are out of just about EVERYTHING. All the staples, all the normal meal making stuff. Jack's brain doesn't function at the grocery store like mine does. While I was there I just kept seeing things and getting meal ideas and the whole recipe would pop into my head, so I would pick up all the ingredients. Jack, on the other hand, has no idea what to put into the cart until he walks into the chip and cookie aisle and he puts whatever looks tasty in there.... What can I say... He's a man!
So ... Almost $200 later.... ($174 after my Kroger card and coupons)... I am loading up the stuff on the belt to be scanned and I start to panic. I am OUT of energy at this point. How on earth am I going to put all of these groceries in my truck?? Then as I am walking up to my truck I start to tear up and realize... putting these groceries in my truck is not going to be my biggest hurdle... I also have to carry them all into the house and put them away... and I bought a LOT of perishables that had to go right in the fridge. I held back the tears as I loaded my truck and then sat in my truck and cried out of exhaustion. What a stupid mistake I made going to the grocery store.
I pulled myself together and drove home, cursing the red jeep that was following way too closely the entire drive. Then one by one, I carried each bag inside. After I got the bags inside, I slowly dumped each onto the counter and put away all of the things that needed to go into the fridge and freezer. Then I got a second wind... and started making chili from scratch... dumping beans and tomatoes into my crock pot. I cooked the meat and dumped that in the crock pot and then the onions.
Now excuse me while I fall asleep and don't wake up until tomorrow.