Sleep, eat, nurse, sleep, nurse, nurse, nurse, nurse, laundry, diaper changes.
That's how my time is spent these days and I couldn't be more in love.
Arie is doing great. I took him back to the pediatrician on Wednesday this past week because his eye looked a little irritated. Pediatrician diagnosed it as a clogged tear duct. I have read that breastmilk is the cure to all ails and read quite a few places about breastmilk being used to cure/help heal eye infections or irritations in babies so I gave it a shot. Little man got squirted in the eye every time I fed him and upon the recommendation of the pediatrician, I also have been massaging around his eyes trying to work the tears out of his tear ducts. His eye looks much better! He weighed 6lbs 8oz on Wednesday.
Breastfeeding is going great. I really can't complain. The help that I got from the lactation consultant and the nurse at the hospital was invaluable. I have never had cracked or bleeding nipples and I fully attribute that to the help of those two lovely ladies. My only complaint is the amount that I am leaking and that I don't have any comfortable clothes to wear. I just ordered 4 more nursing tank tops from Target.com and also I got two Bravado nursing tanks from babysteals.com for 60%+ off today! Unfortunately my belly is not back to pre-pregnancy size and my boobs are bigger too, so my old size medium tshirts just aren't cutting it right now. I know I'm 1 day shy of 3 weeks post partum, but I'm realllllyyyy sick of maternity clothes.
Speaking of being almost 3 weeks post-partum... I have 8 pounds to go until I'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I did try on my old jeans a week and a half ago and I sort of regret doing that... I have one severe muffin top and I couldn't get my jeans buttoned. I am definitely looking forward to the day that I can wear regular pants without a big stretchy panel on the front. Especially now that it's getting warmer (unseasonably warm!) and I SWEAT a lot lately!
Arie sleeps great and nurses great. Cloth diapering is also going fabulously. I can't even describe how happy I am that we are saving so much money by reusing the cloth diapers and not buying disposables. Cloth diapers have been super simple to use and I have already added to my newborn stash since he's been here. I thought I would be happy with just prefolds and covers... and I do love that, but since he sleeps 3-4 hours at a time sometimes, I wanted to get something a little more absorbent for overnight, so along with my lil Joey's I bought some BumGenius XS AIO diapers. I bought 5 seconds and then I bought one BumGenius S AIO diaper and it is just way too big. The XS size is still too big on him but it works. Arie is a little peanut! :) I just ordered 5 more from a cloth diaper clearance site because Jack and I really like using those too. I do diaper laundry every 1 1/2 to 2 days. I could go longer, but I run out of covers because he gets poop on them, but that's no big deal. Even Jack thinks that the cloth diapers are no big deal, and I think we are both especially happy to be using them when Arie poops in the brand new diaper as soon as we change him!
One thing that Arie does NOT like is car rides. If they are short and to the point, he's okay, but if we stop and he gets out and we are visiting somewhere, he HATES it. He is very accustomed to being held 99% of the time and when he's in his car seat, he can't be nursed or held and he gets very upset. Last week, Jack and I visited his friend and dropped off something his friend had lent him and he started crying while we were at their house. We left and were going to head home but we pulled over to the side of the road so that I could nurse him. I nursed him for a good 20 minutes and then we thought it might be fun to stop by and see Jack's Aunt and Uncle since they hadn't met him yet, and he screamed the entire 10 minute ride over to their house from where we were. Then I nursed him again for another 15 minutes or so when we got there, and we were there about an hour and then Arie screamed the entire drive home. We ended up stopping to get gas and I nursed him for another 20+ minutes and then drove the last 25 minutes home and he screamed the whole drive. It's incredibly unpleasant to experience and I am perfectly happy not having him be that upset ever again if we can help it!
Something that I have not particularly enjoyed is the "Pass The Baby" game that happens when people come to visit. I know that it is normal for family and friends to want to hold the baby and I know that our family and friends love him already and want to hold him and cuddle him... but I waited a long long time for this baby and I have a hard time letting other people hold him. On days where we have a lot of visitors or visitors that are here for quite a while, I have definitely noticed a change in my anxiety level. He's like my drug, I need to hold him to feel calm and happy. Jack and I are perfectly content with this, but I'm not sure if our family and friends are going to grant us unlimited patience as I figure out how long this might last. I joked with my dad and his wife when they came to visit that I am sure I'll stop nursing him by age 4 or 5... you know, when he starts to have friends coming over to the house... ;)
I'm looking forward to getting the green light to get back to my normal life again at my 6 week appointment. I'm also looking forward to stopping this post partum bleeding. I'm sure this is my body's way of saying that it's not ready for normal activity again, but I am definitely looking forward to when it is. I'm sure Jack is too :P
We have already gotten the questions of when are we going to try to conceive number 2... the answer to that pressing question is that we will never use birth control again. As soon as we get the green light and my body is cleared, we are "trying" again. I can't imagine that God will bless us with 2 miracle babies, but God does what He wants. If He is willing, we are also willing to receive. I'm actually really excited about the prospect of trying for number 2... or waiting to see if we do get pregnant with a number 2 rather. I'm not sure that we will do anything to "try" aside from not preventing at all.
Oh, and one more thing... Baby Blues... Everyone and their aunt has been asking me how I am doing, and I can only assume that this must be what they are referring to (aside from my physical well-being and recovery from delivery.) I have not had one hint of Baby Blues. I am unbelievably content and happy to be a mom, and most days I still can't believe this happened. I don't feel like someone is coming any minute to take Arie away from me, but I am absolutely enjoying every minute that I can. Some say I hold him too much, but I think that has helped ward off my baby blues... the only blues I get is when I am anxious about not holding him as much as I want to in a day. He's such an angel and we have gotten into such a smooth groove that he hardly cries (since crying is a late indicator of hunger, I nurse him far before he starts to cry) and the only time he really cries is when he's cold from a bath or a diaper change. I think the breastfeeding has helped a lot too and I am sure that a lot of my success has come from the lactation consultant and nurse and all of the ridiculous amounts of reading and preparation that I did before he was born! Not having the anxiety of breastfeeding not working is probably helping with the baby blues.
I still do have the anxiety about sharing him with the people who were not supportive of us during our struggle with infertility. I still feel bitter and angry about having to let any person like that be in his life at all. Thankfully, the people who were the least supportive of us seem to have given us the most space since he's been born instead of barging in and acting like they deserve to be front and center like I anticipated. I am going to be honest, I do not want to share our miracle baby with people like that.
So there's my update for now... Arie will be 3 weeks old tomorrow and every single day I fall more and more in love with him.
The only thing I think I still need help with is coming up with a meal plan. My pregnancy brain never went away and even at the grocery store I can't come up with what normal groceries to buy so that I can cook meals. (Today, for example, I remembered the pepperoni and pizza sauce for homemade pizzas but I did not remember the mozzarella cheese!) I would LOVE for someone to help me meal plan... but also, no foods sound good. I pretty much have zero appetite and most days I only eat one meal when Jack gets home from work, if I even eat that.
Little man is waking up... time to skedaddle.