Sunday, November 25, 2012

10 Weeks Pregnant w/#2

This week, Baby is the size of a: prune I think
How far along? 10 weeks
Due date: 6.23.12
Maternity clothes? Not yet. I took advantage of Black Friday sales & bought a small wardrobe. I'll probably switch over to that once it comes in the mail. I bought tunics and leggings and sweaters. Hopefully, I will be very comfortable.
Sleep: lack of sleep has more to do with having an 8 month old than pregnancy.
Best moment this week: not throwing up on Thanksgiving.
Food cravings: nothing
Movement: Nothing
Symptoms: all day nausea, occasional throwing up.
Labor Signs: no, thank the Lord
Stretch Marks: yep, leftover stripes from Arie man
Swelling? Nope
Belly Button in or out? in
What I miss: not a thing
Feeling toward Pregnancy: I think this baby will come on June 5, exactly 15 months apart.
What I am looking forward to: end of first trimester!
Milestones: still tandem nursing and double digit weeks
News: decided to go with a birth center birth because of the cost of a home birth. :/ I'm kinda disappointed, but saving money is more important at this point.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Hyperemesis Gravardium Round 2?

On Monday morning, I woke up at 4am and took a few sips of water after not being able to hold anything down the previous day.  I threw up the couple sips of water and noticed that even though we went to sleep at midnight, Arie was waking hourly to nurse and seemed like he wasn't satisfied and really wasn't sleeping well. I started to really really get concerned about dehydration.

I called my OB and she said that I could probably ride it out at home but that I would feel MUCH better MUCH faster if I came in for some IV fluids, so we packed up the babe and got to the hospital at about 7am.  We were on our way home by 11-11:30 and I had an ultrasound and got to see that we have one babe in there, strong heartbeat in the 160's!

I feel a lot better, I feel like I'm ahead of my fluids still 2 days later!

I hope that I don't need to go get IV fluids again though.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Sick sick sick

Pregnancy is really not nice to me.

My days lately have been surviving until Jack gets home to help.

I'm getting worried about my supply and my health because nursing and being sick around the clock is physically taking everything I've got.

I'll be 9 weeks pregnant tomorrow.

If you are reading this and you pray, please pray with me that my symptoms go away at the end of the first trimester.

Yesterday started really well, I felt pretty good all day and then from 4-8:15pm I spent in the bathroom with either an ibs attack or food poisoning but Jack never got sick so I'm guessing ibs.

I woke up today still feeling sick, thank God it's Saturday and Jack is here to help.

I guess this is just documenting the good, the bad, and the ugly. I think I'm in an ugly phase :P nausea and throwing up is just not pretty no matter how you spin it.

I was given some great advice to eat a lot more protein and up my vitamin b6. I haven't even been able to take my prenatal vitamins in days and my b6 had expired since my last pregnancy so I need to get more & I feel way too sick to shop or prepare food.

I'm hoping that I don't end up in the ER needing fluids to rehydrate!

Bahhhh. Pregnancy is so fun.

In other news, Arie is pretty much crawling now and finds playing on the floor super fun. He can play alone for an hour going from one toy to the next all over the room.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

First day sick by myself

Jack had the last three days off work and in the last week or so is when I really started needing more help with Arie, holding him or rocking him when I felt nauseous, or hold him while I throw up.

Jack went back to work, even though his vacation probably felt nothing like a vacation with how much help I needed 24 hours a day.

This morning I rocked Arie and tried to set him down so I could run in the bathroom. I set him down as gently as I could but as soon as I let go, he started rooting for me with his eyes closed. Then he woke all the way up and was crying because I wasn't there. I threw up with a background noise of baby cry. :(

It only took about 10 minutes of rocking to get him back to sleep after that.

::sigh:: I need my husby.

I can do this. I can do this.

Nursing while pregnant

I have been very blessed to have had minimal issues with nursing Arie. I am sure that was 90% (or more) preparation with knowledge and being blessed with a babe who loves to nurse. I never had anything to complain about and nursing was always a positive experience, no matter what time, day or night.

Being pregnant and nursing, however, is a different story.

My nipples are sore like they were when Arie was a brand new babe and the nausea makes me want my own space.

It appears as though my aversion to being crowded is met by Arie's extreme desire to be even closer to me than normal. He nurses about 5x more often than he did before, or maybe it just feels like it because I'm so uncomfortable.

It's frustrating to be exhausted beyond words from my pregnancy and have a nursling who requires hours of rocking each day. Thankfully, the new rocking recliner we bought makes a big difference because it's so comfortable.

I don't mean to complain one bit, because I'm thankful for blessing #2 to be on their way, but pregnancy is not kind to me and pregnancy symptoms are exaggerated about 100 fold when you have an 8 month old who doesn't understand why you're hugging the toilet for a half hour or tries to grab and tip out your barf bowl.

In the last month, Arie has also been really fluctuating in weight and I have started to get concerned. Then I talked to my best friend who said her baby fluctuated greatly between 9-12 months when he became mobile. Arie is doing his version of crawling and is burning a lot more calories than normal so his slow weight gain and weight fluctuations are very normal. I think being pregnant intensifies my anxiety because it is difficult to remain totally rational about things and not panic. In the last month, Arie gained only 3 oz... But, his head circumference grew .25" and he grew almost an inch in length. He's definitely growing and if I wasn't carefully monitoring his weight, I would never guess he wasn't even 16 pounds yet.

I'm hoping my nausea and vomiting go away after the first trimester but I have a sneaky suspicion that it won't. I'm hoping that I can get a handle on my anxiety and emotions at least, because dreading nursing is a terrible feeling. My irrational brain freaks out and I get physically uncomfortable while he's nursing in his sleep. It's no different than he's always done and now I find myself frequently breaking his latch because of my anxiety and discomfort and then he wakes and frantically roots and latches right back on. At this point, nursing is pure mind over matter and requires full dedication on my part.

Thankfully, I'm a stubborn and persistent person. Since I still believe that breast milk is my highest priority for Arie, I am giving myself a constant "suck it up." Pep talk and reminding myself that pregnancies are very short and the long term payout of tandem nursing is something that I do NOT want to miss out on.

Plus, he's only 8 months old. 4 more months and then the possibility of having to supplement is out of the picture. Fortunately, if I do lose my supply, I have been in contact with some great midwives who have offered to help find me donor breast milk.

I think I'll attempt to get in bed once more... This little man has been fighting sleep for an hour. >.< pregnancy is very short, pregnancy doesn't last forever, this phase is a blink of the eye, this pregnancy will go by so fast, especially with an infant time just goes by so fast, gotta remember to relax and just enjoy every minute because it's gone before I know it!!

I'm having to make a conscious effort to say prayers of thanksgiving daily for this situation and experience and I think the more I am consciously thanking God for it, the easier it will be to remember in my (way too frequent) moments of frustration how awesome this is to be able to experience this.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

8 Weeks Pregnant with #2

This week, Baby is the size of a: raspberry maybe?
How far along? 8 weeks 2 days
Due date: 6.16.12
Maternity clothes? Not yet... But soon. I have lost a couple pounds but the bloat has made my pants no longer fit. :(
Sleep: doing okay the last few nights... Arie had a cold this week which meant a lot of sitting upright in the recliner so that he could breathe and sleep, which unfortunately means that I got no sleep.
Best moment this week: Jack stepping up and taking over night rocking now that I'm feeling sick.
Food cravings: nothing
Movement: I'm feeling little bubbles but its probably phantom and memory kicks.
Symptoms: all day nausea, occasional throwing up.
Labor Signs: no, thank the Lord
Stretch Marks yep, leftover stripes from Arie man
Swelling? Nope
Belly Button in or out? in
What I miss: not a thing
Feeling toward Pregnancy: Really exhausted and its going to go by in warp speed!
What I am looking forward to: end of first trimester!
Milestones: still tandem nursing.
News: met with another home birth midwife last night and loved her! I will be seeing an OB along side only for a situation where I would need a transfer, that there would be someone available, not because a midwife isn't significant care. I plan to skip most of my OB appointments, so we will see. I also do not plan to tell him that I'm planning a home birth because they may drop me as a patient. My first OB appointment is next week.

Facebook Break

I take Facebook breaks every now and then.

I have a really hard time with Facebook during very controversial situations. The manner by which a lot of people tend to conduct themselves makes me feel differently about them as people. I always think that if this person said that out loud, in person, we would not be friends.

I have a lot of people that I like and value and consider to be my friends, but at times like this, I end up reconsidering what kind of person would say such a thing.

This is not directed at anyone, and more specifically, it's not directed at just those people whose beliefs conflict with mine.

There are people who have similar beliefs and write things that disgust me.

Four years ago, I shared some political beliefs in my own status and ended up really offending a family member and that situation has stuck with me.

I see posts with little to no fact behind them, and mostly I see posts with NO CLASS.

In order to not expose myself to Facebook election drama, I am happy to step away. I'm not interested in seeing the behaviors that will follow this election, regardless of the outcome. The nasty gloating and mud slinging will continue on and on.

When things are posted about how Christians are close minded, horrible people, and that somehow their beliefs automatically mean they are judging... I can't help but take that personally and completely think differently of the person posting it.

Having a moral compass different than someone else does not in any way mean that you are automatically a judgmental person or that you are close minded or evil.

I'm not close minded because I don't believe in certain things. I understand why others believe the way they do, what they believe to be fact I do not believe to be fact, and what they believe to be false, I believe differently. That does not make me close minded.

Anyway, I gave about a 3 minute warning on deleting my fb. I'm not really worried about it. I'll probably be back. It's a nice place to keep and organize my pictures of Arie.

I just find myself distancing more and more from it though because while I like other people, I'm not really interested in taking in a constant stream of beliefs from other people. I have my own well founded and deeply rooted beliefs that will not be changed by a post or two.

At a certain point when most of my fb friends are hidden from my newsfeed, I have to wonder what the point of Facebook is.

I guess that's my thoughts. I don't want to be that involved in 100s of people's politics right now.