Sunday, December 30, 2012

First birthday party for Arie

Christmas was overwhelming for Arie because of all of the people in his face. He doesn't know any of his family well enough to know they're not strangers, so he was freaked out the whole time.

I had a really hard time expressing to people to give him a LOT of space. They really don't see him very often so they wanted to get as much out of the visit as possible, so to speak. It left me frustrated and annoyed and Arie completely overwhelmed, uncomfortable, and upset. I think people expect babies to be fussy or unhappy, but Arie is not those things in a normal situation and he wouldn't be if people respected what I said for them to do to make Arie most comfortable.

I'm so sick of getting blown off like I don't know my child better than them... Especially coming from someone who has seen him less than a dozen times in his whole 10 months. I know what he needs, and it's not some new made up ridiculous thing to listen to your child's cues. When someone gets right up in Arie's face, he will bury his head in me not to be cute or to mess around, but he is saying he's uncomfortable. Doing it over and over doesn't help him get more comfortable with people, either, it just makes him trust that person less.

I'm not some dumb first time mom that everyone needs to roll their eyes at, I know my kid and I have been with him 24 hours a day since the day that he was born. I know what makes him happy and I know what doesn't. Unlike everyone else who have spent 10 hours or less total with him. Hmmm, I think I know better.

Just writing all this stuff pisses me off again, but this in a nut shell is why Jack and I are really not wanting to have a birthday party. It would be way too much for him and way too much disrespect would happen and Jack and I would be left angry and dealing with a miserable child.

It's really frustrating to have so many people in our life like that.

Not everyone is like that at all, we have a handful of people who really enjoy Arie on his terms and never push him or rush him. What do you know, he enjoys those people the best.

It is hard when you feel like you have so much pressure on your shoulders to do certain things as well, like going to the extended family Christmas parties. They were each one to two hours away. It's like there's zero understanding for my morning sickness and when we say that Arie hates his car seat, people just roll their eyes like its an excuse, and not a very good one.

I thought I would write this and convince myself to throw the party, but instead I seem to have further convinced myself not to. :/

I don't think Arie will hold it against us, but what about everyone else? This has not been a fun facet of parenting.

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