Since I've done it before, I have no problem being very decisive about my plans for labor and delivery this time around. I have done the research, I don't need to convince myself or anyone else for that matter.
Last time I had said that I absolutely wanted a home birth if I ever got pregnant again after my horrifying experience with an aggressive anti-NB OB. I interviewed midwives and found one that I adored and who has 30 years of experience. All signs were pointing to woooohoooo lets get it going... and then Jack and I started crunching the numbers.
In the event of an emergency, we would have paid for the home birth as well as our out of pocket maximum with our insurance getting up around $5,000. But, if we only pay for our out of pocket maximum, it's between $1500 and $2000. It felt like a huge gamble that we weren't willing to make, especially once I discovered that there is a local birth center attached to one of the hospitals in our area that accepts our insurance. (Home birth is not covered by our insurance.)
A birth center was a distant second choice to a home birth, (and WAYYYYYYY better than a hospital birth) but it will offer a LOT of the same conveniences of a home birth. I will be under the care of a midwife, there are no drugs to augment labor, there is no IV, freedom to eat and drink in labor, freedom to move and labor however I'm most comfortable. In the event of an emergency, since it is connected to the hospital, a transfer would be quicker than if I were needing to head into the hospital at home. One of the things I am most excited about with the birth center is that if we choose, Arie can be with us while I'm in labor and delivering. And, the stay is between 6 hours and 24 hours maximum... not the almost 3 days that I was stuck in the hospital.
I'm excited and ready for this... I know I'm only 12 weeks but giving birth to another baby so soon is definitely something that while I KNOW my body can do it and I'm not scared of it, I'm emotionally scarred from last time and I need to really meditate on how this experience will be different. I'm a completely different person and I will never hesitate to fire a care provider again. And, I have learned the magic words, "I DO NOT CONSENT."
I'm pretty disgusted with the anti-NB things I've seen around the web, so hopefully if you stumble upon this and you are planning a natural birth, I hope you will learn that you have choices and that you can make every effort to educate yourself and barring an emergency or unforeseen complication, you CAN do it!