Monday, December 3, 2012

Randomness while rocking

I'm rocking Arie for his nap right now. We have been up for two hours and now he's ready for a cat nap.

I have been feeling okay the last few days and hadn't been throwing up. I woke up this morning and went to change Arie's diaper and didn't grab my barf bowl since I didn't think I would need it. I drank a big glass of water and Arie and I headed downstairs to play with toys and suddenly I couldn't get my bowl fast enough.

I made it downstairs and set him down next to me and spent the next 10 minutes retching. So instead of just bile, it was watered down bile. Weeeee.

Anyone else hate throwing up? It feels like drowning to me. Can't catch my breath, can't take a breath.

So much for thinking it's going away.

I'm pretty much in shock that its December. In 2 days, Arie will be 9 months old. 3 months from then, he will be a year old. And, 3 months after that, we will be having number 2.

I don't feel or even look pregnant at all. Well, I guess I FEEL pregnant when I'm throwing up in the morning...

I switched to wearing some of my new maternity clothes and I've discovered that although I bought them 1 & 2 sizes smaller than last time, these clothes are too big.

My mind and brain have not caught up to the fact that I've lost over 80lbs and on a 63" frame how astronomical that number really is.

It's weird to try to plan maternity clothes that are nursing friendly. I used to be able to nurse much more discreetly, but my options are quickly diminishing and hiking my shirt up over my belly is less appealing every day and just pulling my boob out is so much easier. It's funny how things change, a hungry baby overrules any weird feelings or social awkwardness.

I went to a moms group the other day and I came home and told Jack how out of the Breastfeeding moms, 2 pumped and fed with a bottle while we were there and one went off to the side with a cover, while I just fed him right on the couch in the middle of it all. Every one of the girls nursed for some period of time, plus, they all have boobs. It's time to get rid of the stigma! Plus, let's see me just TRY to be discreet in 6 months when I have a newborn AND a 15 month old nursing on demand.

I definitely still feel some judgment about Breastfeeding some places that I go and around some certain people, but it's usually from women who don't have children yet. I refuse to say "just you wait" out loud, but I have definitely thought it.

On the other hand, one of my biggest cheerleaders is a friend who doesn't have children yet but is very health conscious and sees a naturopath and thinks Breastfeeding is fantastic.

I don't really have a choice to not feed my child, so when it makes people uncomfortable I hope they understand that what I'm doing has nothing to do with them, I'm not nursing my kid in public to make a statement of some kind, I'm feeding him when and where he got hungry.

In other randomness, I have been attempting to try to get Arie to sleep at least one stretch in his crib at night. His crib is in our room still, but with how much he's crawling and moving and trying pull himself up, it's safer for him to have all four sides on it and not side-carred.

Last night was a fail. After an hour, I tried to set him down but he woke up as I lifted him over the rail. Just need to keep trying!

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