Thursday, January 31, 2013

20 Weeks Pregnant w/#2

This week, Baby is: 6.5 inches and 10.5oz
How far along? 20 Weeks
Due date: 6.13 to 6.23 ish ... My guess is on 6.5.13, exactly 15 months apart from Arie.
Maternity clothes? yes.
Sleep: meh. I'm never sleeping well again.
Weight gain: +2 after breakfast this morning
Best moment this week: Halfway mark
Food cravings: nothing
Movement: yup.
Symptoms: vomiting and occasional nausea after eating.
Labor Signs: no, but I have had lots of BH.
Stretch Marks: yep, leftover stripes from Arie man
Swelling? None
Belly Button in or out? in
What I miss: not much
Feeling toward Pregnancy: looking forward to June and my birth center birth, very excited about having a second babe
What I am looking forward to: My birthday next week and Arie's birthday party and his birthday!
Milestones: still tandem nursing, feeling baby move
News: nothing really exciting, I have a MW appointment on my birthday and our anatomy scan so that should be awesome and maybe we will get some pictures.  I'm hoping to bring the video camera.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

I know 2am very well

Jack is getting very familiar with the middle of the night too.

Tonight I switched sides nursing probably 4 or 5 times and on Jack'a third attempt to rock Arie, he finally fell back to sleep... Until Jack dozed in the chair and stopped rocking. A crying diaper change later and now I'm rocking and patting.

It's such an amazing thing that Arie knows the difference between Jack and I. Most nights, he's satisfied with Jack getting up and rocking him and he will go back to sleep. But then, there are just nights where no one but mama will ever do.

While I'm exhausted and my stomach is aching from RLP from flip flopping for so long, these are the moments I longed for while my heart Ached to become a mother. He's sleeping on my shoulder hanging on to my neck. Absolutely nothing in the world compares to this. The older he gets, and more he understands, the more incredible it is that he's choosing me. I'm his mama and he doesn't want anything else.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Getting out of the house

In the past two weeks, I have only left the house twice. Once two weeks ago to go to a play date, and then a week ago to go to the grocery store. In my defense, I was pretty sick for about 10 days in those two weeks...

I did finally get out of the house today and hit up the grocery store, I know, super exciting! I didn't even need groceries, I just had a couple of things that I wanted to bake and needed a couple ingredients.  Of course, like Target, a couple ingredients turns into $80 pretty quickly, especially buying organic food. (My pure maple syrup was $10!)

I hope I figure out a way to keep seeing my friends and getting out of the house when #2 comes too. I have friends that do it with the same spacing that I will have, so I am sure I will be able to figure it out.

I'm hanging out in the living room right now while Jack gives Arie a bath.  Stinky boy finally hit 16 pounds! That kid eats, I swear, he's just a mover! Apparently Jack was built like that's a baby so that's reassuring to me.  He's long and LEAN.

There really wasn't a point to my ramble, I just noticed that it has been a few days since I updated so I thought I would jot down a few words.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

19 weeks pregnant w/#2

This week, Baby is: 6 inches and half a pound
How far along? 19 Weeks
Due date: 6.13 to 6.23 ish ... My guess is on 6.5.13, exactly 15 months apart from Arie.
Maternity clothes? yes.
Sleep: meh. I'm never sleeping well again.
Weight gain: -4 last I checked, I have no idea though.
Best moment this week: feeling baby move every day
Food cravings: nothing
Movement: yup.
Symptoms: vomiting
Labor Signs: no.
Stretch Marks: yep, leftover stripes from Arie man
Swelling? None
Belly Button in or out? in
What I miss: not much
Feeling toward Pregnancy: looking forward to June and my birth center birth, very excited about having a second babe
What I am looking forward to: my birthday & Arie's 1st birthday!!
Milestones: still tandem nursing, feeling baby move
News: nothing too newsworthy. Spent the last week sick with a sinus infection.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Feeling better

Last night, Arie all of a sudden felt all better right at bed time. Instead of falling asleep at 8:30 like he should, he was a crazy man all over the place until 12:30am! He's still a tiny bit stuffy when he lays down but no more runny nose!

I feel a thousand times better today too! We even got up and went out to breakfast! Arie ate his French toast like it was his favorite food ever! I knew he'd like French toast. I think I might be making that for breakfast more often. I need to bake some sandwich bread today though.

Jack went to work so we are on our own today. Hate that he has to go in on a Sunday, but what a huge blessing time and a half is!!

Arie is down for his nap and I'm exhausted myself. This is one of those "sleep when the baby sleeps." Situations.

After we wake up, I have big plans to right my house after being so sick all week. I have a mountain of laundry that needs to be done, everything needs vacuuming and scrubbing, and the kitchen looks like the dishes haven't been done in a week... In reality, I think 2 or 3 days. I brought my ergo in from the truck and I think Arie is going to get a couple hours long piggy back ride.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

I know how I lost the baby weight

Among a thousand things, one of the things that I've done every day since the day he was born, is rock him to sleep and rock him while he slept. Constant movement for hours and hours a day. Whether pushing my foot off the floor, raising and lowering my leg, or moving my upper body to rock the chairs... That's how my baby sleeps best.

Another win for attachment parenting.

Arie is sick, he's congested, which is how I started out. He has a low grade fever (100.5°F was the highest) and a runny nose. After my five days of a runny nose and being religious about the coconut and eucalyptus oil under my nose and still having a raw face, I'm being so careful about wiping Arie's nose. I don't want his face to chap, but I don't want to run his little face raw either.

Last night was a fun one for Jack. I have so much drainage that sitting upright and rocking for hours at night started to make me nauseous so we switched. Terrible and uncomfortable 15 minute stretches of sleep is what he got as he rocked Arie so it was easier for him to sleep and breathe/ being kept upright.

At least I got enough rest to really feel like I'm on the mend today. I still have stuff in my lungs and I'm congested, but I'm getting through it!

This tickle in my chest is torture though as I rock Arie. I want him to sleep for hours if he will, and that means white noise only and rocking. It all gets thrown off as I'm hacking and he stirs or wakes up completely.

Oh, and did I mention that today is Jack'a birthday? He's 32! It blows my mind that I have been with him since he was 24 years old!! 24 used to seem so old and now it seems so young!

I remember his 25th birthday so well, we both had to work and he stopped by my work on his way home. We got in our first fight and for the first time really voiced how we felt and how much we wanted to be with each other and what we were willing to do to make it happen.

The next day, we went to a freestyle motocross show at the silver dome. I didn't know a thing about dirt bikes, only having sat (and fell off of one) once. I didn't care, I was just happy to be with him.

It's 7 years later. It's crazy. There are so many milestones that happen every year that remind me of just how much has happened in 7 years.

In a couple weeks will be my 27th birthday... I remember spending my 19th birthday with Jack... He bought me my first legal drink in Canada (and a brownie!)

I'm praying that Arie makes a quicker turn around than I did and I'm so thankful for my husband, especially on his birthday.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013


Yup definitely sick. Before bed I tried to ward off getting sick. I gargles salt water and used my neti pot (basically unsuccessfully since I was so congested) and drank a glass of water with apple cider vinegar and honey. Went to sleep and woke up the next time Arie wanted to nurse with my whole body aching. Perfect.

Jack got me some water and Tylenol and I was able to sleep okay the rest of the night, but I'm feeling it today.

Just gotta take it slow. It's 10:15am and Arie is taking a nap, thank God. I'm going to sit here and just enjoy the baby cuddles and quiet.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

18 Weeks Pregnant w/#2!

18 weeks
This week, Baby is: 5.6 inches long and about 6.7 ounces now 
How far along? 18 Weeks 
Due date: 6.13 to 6.23 ish ... My guess is on 6.5.13, exactly 15 months apart from Arie. 
Maternity clothes? yes.
Sleep: meh. I'm never sleeping well again.
Weight gain: -4 ... food poisoning, weeeeeeee
Best moment this week: feel like I got good care from the on-call midwife.
Food cravings: nothing
Movement: yup, intermittent.
Symptoms: morning sickness and low energy, throwing up, shortness of breath... nausea is lessening soooo much though, now the morning sickness just happens all of a sudden and I barf where ever I am.  
Labor Signs: no.... did have an eventful evening last night
Stretch Marks: yep, leftover stripes from Arie man
Swelling? Nope... actually my fingers are shrinking still. Even my ring that I just had sized right before I got pregnant is too big again. 
Belly Button in or out? in
What I miss: not much
Feeling toward Pregnancy: looking forward to June and my birth center birth, very excited about having a second babe
What I am looking forward to: jack's, mine & Arie's birthdays
Milestones: still tandem nursing, feeling baby move
News: Last night I got food poisoning and had to call Jack home from work.  By the time he got home, I had been sick for a little over an hour and when he got home, my cramps changed from intestinal to uterine.  I called the on-call midwife and she was very reassuring.  The difference between the last time I got dehydrated and this time was unbelievable.  She listened to the whole situation and said that it was excellent that I had a reason to be feeling the contractions and that dehydration is definitely the cause and that all I needed to do was drink some water and try to get some gatorade or vitamin water down too.  She explained that everything is so connected down there that it makes sense that after a couple hours of throwing up and diarrhea that I would be dehydrated and that if I couldn't hydrate myself by mouth within 6 hours to call back and then we would decide if I needed to come in to have IV fluids.  The contractions were SUPER scary ... and PAINFUL.  I don't remember my contractions with Arie like that, but when I went into labor with Arie, I was so so so excited that I was high on adrenaline... no drugs needed lol.  I'm good now and my last contraction was about 18 hours ago so I think I'm in the clear.  Jack stayed home this morning to be with me and my mom will be here any time so Jack can go to work.  I think I will be fine to go back to normal activity tomorrow but I'm drinking water religiously.  I had no idea how EASY it would be to become dehydrated enough to cause contractions.  What a mess!  

Monday, January 14, 2013

This child will not have a name

I have a name list on my phone that I add and subtract from when the mood hits. Today I shared it with my mother-in-law and saying each name out loud and watching reactions made me want to scrap and start all over again.

I have no idea why it's so difficult for us. I know people who have lists and lists of names they adore. Why can't we have a couple??

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Friends with kids

When Arie was brand new, I got lonely and bored and wanted to hang out with other moms. I started a Facebook group where we started planning get togethers and rotating between our houses.

After the summer, things got busier. Two of the newer moms went back to work and it got harder to plan days that worked for more than two people.

Today we had a mom date and there's really nothing better these days. Coffee and treats with our little ones playing with each other and toys and just laughing and having a good time.

It feels so good to have people you can talk to about your boobs, stretch marks, husband, baby things for hours on end and they just GET IT. Until you've been through it you just can't quite appreciate or understand the craziness that is being married with children.

I'm a big fan of finding a group of people that you can see to get out of the house and just enjoy their company. I love my husband and don't really feel like I need my space from him, but having girlfriends is something different and special. It takes a lot more effort to stay in touch and make a friendship last after marriage and kids, but it's worth it!

Friday, January 11, 2013

It figures. Morning sickness

Last night wasn't horrible as far as Arie sleep goes. We made it through with the only time we had to get out of bed was for Arie's diaper change at 6am, every time he woke up he was easily nursed or nursed and then patted back to sleep. Of course, none of this was in the crib... :P

I wouldn't be in any hurry to get him in the crib if we never had to get out of bed at night.

Anyway, 6:30am, Jack leaves for work, Arie is sleeping in the middle of the bed, I can either close my eyes or sit here and catch up on reading or play some games... What does my body do? Picks today to be super nauseous.

I know my body well enough to know this feeling well. There's regular nausea, which is just feeling gross. There's the I feel like I may puke nausea, where I could go either way but if I drink some hot tea or blow my nose, I might be able to ward it off... And then there's the I'm going to puke. No ifs ands or buts, and that is what I have this morning.

I don't have a bowl so I'm going to have to run to the bathroom and forget Arie staying asleep, I have to grab him in case he wakes up and crawls off the bed. Weeeeeee.

I'm going to forget these days, and some day, when my daughter or daughter in law is telling me how sick she feels and what her morning sickness is like, I bet this comes flooding back.

This won't last forever and all I can do is laugh it off, how hilarious is it that Arie sees my head buried in my bowl and he wants to come look too because there must be something cool for how hard I'm looking. I will make it through these days... They felt long with Arie and now he's here and coming up on a year old!!

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Transitioning to Crib

Arie has slept in my arms for 99% of his sleep since birth. All night and every nap.

We have expressed interest in transitioning him to his crib in our room for a while, but he's so used to being rocked so much that its been a difficult transition.

His sleep has become so interrupted and short at night that there is just nothing to lose by giving it a go. It might be a slow transition, but it's something that Jack and I are ready for, and hopefully sleeping in his own space will help Arie sleep for longer stretches.

Since we are not willing to do cry-it-out, we are just going to wing it and really have to focus on having patience. Arie wakes up almost immediately when you set him down or even stir a little bit, so I anticipate many times he will wake up as soon as we have set him down and the process starts all over.

The first time I tried to set him down for his nap at noon, he fell asleep nursing and I unlatched him and rocked for a few more minutes and then set him in the crib. He instantly started crying.

Three hours later, still no nap, he fell asleep after nursing and he repositioned himself to sleeping on my shoulder and I laid him down in his crib. He started crying but didn't open his eyes and I patted his butt like I do when I'm laying next to him and he fell back to sleep. I kept patting for a few minutes and now I'm laying down myself. I should probably shower, but I'm too tired lol

We can do this!! Only 5 months until baby two comes, it would be nice to not have to deal with 25 wake ups between #1 and #2. We might end up doing that in the end, but we will be at least working on getting Arie happy and comfortable to sleep in his own space.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013


My first appointment with the midwife was yesterday and it was great!

When I explained my issues with Arie's birth she said that everything I wanted and didn't get out of the hospital is what they normally do at the birth center.

I had several questions on their policies:

Can I catch my own baby? Can Jack catch?

Can I deliver in the water?
-it's technically not allowed, but it happens a lot and they don't pull mothers out who are birthing in the water.

Can I have a modified lotus birth instead of delayed cord clamping? (Delivering the placenta and only then cutting the umbilical cord.)
-that's what generally ends up happening anyway, after birth baby goes right to mom's chest and more often than not, mom will still be cuddling when it's time to birth the placenta. If that's what I want, we can definitely make that happen.

Once baby and I are both determined to be stable, can we be discharged? Also, can we be discharged 24 hours a day?
-yes and yes!

She also chatted with me about natural ways to bring on a regular pattern of contractions as I say there and nursed Arie. She said they use a breast pump for nipple stimulation and I said, good thing I have a nursing toddler! She got all excited and said of course! That would be way better!

Arie will be allowed to stay with us at the birth center with my mom being there to be there for him. I already knew that from reading their website, but it was great to have it confirmed and encouraged.

They happily welcome doulas, and I have contacted one of the midwives that we met with that I really liked to see if she was available still to be a doula at my birth.

The only thing I didn't like was having to go to an orientation. It's 7-8:30 pm in the middle of the week an hour away. Arie's normal bed time is 7-8pm. I will be discussing that with the midwife at my next appointment.

I have still not gained any weight which is no big deal at all, and they changed my due date. According to my last period, my due date is June 16, and from the size of the baby at my ER ultrasound, the due date is June 23rd. The midwife picked June 20th. Whatever, the date is pretty insignificant to me since the chances this baby will be born on those days is slim and since Arie came early, it's very likely that this babe will also.

I asked about their "standard procedures" and she said they basically take a hands off approach which sounds phenomenal. She also said that they rarely stitch tears unless they really warrant stitches. I loved that! She said they watch the tear and see if it starts to heal right away which they very often do.

She talked about how they like to have the midwife and nurse with you through as much of it as possible, helping to encourage you and show you positions for pain relief and also positions that encourage the progression of labor.

I feel so much more at peace about this birth experience and I feel like I can finally relax and stop worrying about fighting for my right to give birth without being forced to take drugs or do things for the convenience of the doctors.

She even said casually that some parents even prefer not to have their child bathed and that's just fine. It's funny because the nurses at the hospital made such a stink about bathing Arie. I said I would do it and they said no and then didn't come back. Finally someone came back and I didn't feel like fighting, but it was so bizarre and unnatural to me that they wouldn't allow me to bathe my own child. Who will be bathing him for his whole childhood, yet his first bath, I somehow can't do? Mkay, makes no sense whatsoever.

I think this birth center is absolutely the best we can do if home birth is not possible. They have queen sized beds and it will be a fantastic experience.

I can't believe how quickly it's coming!!

Of course it's 8am on the dot and Arie's internal alarm clock just went off, so it's time to get up for the day.

17 Weeks Pregnant w/#2

This week, Baby is: 5.1" & 5.9oz
How far along? 17 weeks
Due date: 6.20.12
Maternity clothes? yes.
Sleep: meh. I'm never sleeping well again.
Weight gain: -2
Best moment this week: was a pretty average week
Food cravings: nothing
Movement: yup, intermittent.
Symptoms: morning sickness and low energy, throwing up, shortness of breath
Labor Signs: Nope
Stretch Marks: yep, leftover stripes from Arie man
Swelling? Nope
Belly Button in or out? in
What I miss: feeling normal & energy
Feeling toward Pregnancy: looking forward to June and my birth center birth
What I am looking forward to: jack's, mine & Arie's birthdays
Milestones: still tandem nursing, feeling baby move
News: Not much is new

Saturday, January 5, 2013

16 weeks Pregnant w/#2

This week, Baby is: 4.6" and 3.5oz

How far along? 16 weeks 2 days
Due date: 6.20.12, they changed my due date.
Maternity clothes? yep, mostly leggings and tunics... My new jeans from motherhood should come today!! Yippie!!
Sleep: meh. I'm never sleeping well again.
Weight gain: +0
Best moment this week: finally met with a midwife
Food cravings: nothing
Movement: yup!
Symptoms: morning sickness and low energy, but the lower energy could have more to do with my vitamin d deficiency!
Labor Signs: No
Stretch Marks: yep, leftover stripes from Arie man
Swelling? Nope
Belly Button in or out? in
What I miss: feeling normal & energy
Feeling toward Pregnancy: looking forward to June and my birth center birth
What I am looking forward to: my first midwife appointment next month...
Milestones: still tandem nursing, feeling baby move
News: Not much is new

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Breastfeeding and pregnancy

I haven't done an update on this in a while. Nursing while pregnant definitely has its ups and downs and it seems more downs than up.

Everything that is wonderful about breastfeeding still applies, obviously. It's super convenient to latch a hungry baby on. It is a magic comfort tool, baby's cranky or scared or hurt or bored... Magic. No bottles to wash. No worrying about formula recalls or GMOs or any unnatural ingredients in what your baby consumes. It's great bonding with baby, having your own special time, just you and baby and no one else. Breastfeeding forces you to sit down, slow down and relax, so it's calming.

However, a lot of negative aspects creep in during pregnancy.

Lightening boob and nipple. Ugh. I know this happened during my pregnancy with Arie, but it's way more obnoxious when I have a baby on my boobs 24/7.

Sore nipples. When Arie latches probably 60% of the time now, it's excruciating. It's a clench your fists, close your eyes tight, and grit your teeth kind of painful and sometimes that bitter discomfort lasts until my letdown starts, so maybe 10-30 seconds. Ugh.

Pregnancy hormones have left me incredibly irritable and with far less patience than normal. This means that when my baby is super fussy and going through a stage where he wants to comfort nurse every minute only 10 seconds at a time, unlatching and relatching every time... It makes me want to scream and yell. And sometimes I do yell.

It is a lot harder than I imagined. There was very little out there about what to expect because a.) everyone's experiences are so vastly different that there is absolutely no "normal" with which to compare my situation and b.) most people who tandem nurse that I've seen don't have babies 15 months apart.

I am still taking it one day at a time. I'm too dang stubborn to give it up for these stupid difficulties that I'm facing now. Wayyy too stubborn to quit. Plus, I just can't imagine taking that away from Arie. I could never be that selfish to take away something that I know he needs. He NEEDS nursing in a way that I can't describe, but I can recognize it enough to know that whatever issues come along, as long as my body continues to cooperate and as long as he wants it, it will be here for him.

I'm excited to nurse another newborn. I think I'm most excited because most of my challenges were things like figuring out how to dress to make nursing comfortable and easy for me, figuring out how the heck to hold a newborn on to my boob, where and when to nurse.... All these things, I have down. I'm also really excited for the soreness to go away.... I know that happens. There was such a long honeymoon period after Arie and I got the hang of it and before I got pregnant that aside from the occasional bite, it was easy peasy and I couldn't imagine stopping any time soon.