Friday, March 8, 2013

Rocking baby

Jack thought he would be helping by sleeping on the couch after working late, so he didn't wake Arie when he came to bed.

I'm not sure if it was a coincidence or if Jack not coming in actually helped. Arie fell asleep at about 9pm and then woke up once or twice between then and 2am when I woke up and realized Jack wasn't there. Arie woke up at 3 & I went downstairs to get Jack because he wasnt answering his phone at all.

I just completely lost my train of thought because for the last hour plus I have been rocking in the dark trying to get Arie back to sleep. He's finally asleep now but it's not a deep sleep. Jack's alarm goes off in about 40 minutes. I am sure I will still be rocking.

I think where I was going with this post was how sweet it is to get some cuddles from this little guy while there's still just one baby.

Every day, I go back and forth on realizing that there is another child coming very soon. One day, very soon, I will have two babies to rock.

How did we go from no babies and only a dream of conceiving to having a one year old and in 3 months, a newborn?

Will this baby be a boy or a girl? Will that matter?

When I have this baby at home, I won't need a "coming home outfit" and I don't have to stress about driving with a brand new baby. I wonder if this baby will be jaundiced too or if the June sunshine will help clear that up much faster than sun through a window did for Arie.

Every day now, as I go through the motions, I wonder what it will be like to labor and deliver completely at home. Will I use this bathroom or that bathroom, will I be trying to do chores and take care of Arie while I'm in labor? Will it all happen at night and my mom will be the one upstairs rocking Arie and Jack and I will be downstairs?

Will I feel supported and content with my midwife and her team to let Jack sleep if he needs to and I'll just do my thing? Will I feel more comfortable because I'm at home? Will this labor be easier on Jack?

Tomorrow I finally have my first midwife appointment with Eileen. I'm excited and I feel like we have so much to catch up on and talk about.

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