Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Tandem nursing is frustrating

Tandem nursing is frustrating. Arie does not understand that a newborn's hunger is a priority over him wanting to nurse. 

I think the middle of the night is the worst. They will both wake up at the same time and want to nurse. Since its super uncomfortable to nurse both at once at least one of them is screaming. 

It sucks especially because Luke will be up for an hour or two before going back to sleep and will want to nurse the whole time. So Arie sleeps fitfully if at all in that time until I can come back. 

It's very stressful and not the least bit relaxing. Honestly it makes me want to scream especially with how tired I am, the anxiety from listening to Jack try to keep one calm while I'm nursing the other is maddening. 

I know this wont last forever but it really sucks right now. 

It sucks wanting to rush through comforting your child so that you can get to the next one. It sucks deciding which one needs it more. And it SUCKS being someone who has never let her child cry it out and have to listen to Jack attempt to console but the child is just screaming and crying.

This age gap is difficult because the older child does not understand. The newborn certainly doesn't either. 

I hate that I can't enjoy Luke slowly dozing off while nursing when all I want to do is go pick up Arie and nurse him. 

This is REALLY difficult. I know I've already said that. 

But at 2am, after just a tiny bit of sleep, all of these things together suck a lot. I also hate stressing out about how little sleep Jack is getting too. Of course he's getting hours more than I do at night, but when I know he's just rocking and if he moves at all, Arie will wake and cry, it stresses me out! 

I don't want to wish away this time. I don't want to stress through this stage because I know it will be over in a blink. I wish I could find a way to enjoy this stage and not stress every night that this happens. 

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