Saturday, August 24, 2013

An annoying double standard

In the Mommy-World, it's a huge faux-pas to suggest to a bottle feeding mom, "Why don't you just breastfeed?" 

However, somehow, it's perfectly acceptable to suggest to a breast feeding mom, "Just give baby a bottle."

With my children, exclusively breast feeding is very important to me. There are countless benefits of my children getting my milk right from the source, too many to list. On top of that, it's my main objective to nurse on demand. 

Breast feeding might not being every mom's #1 priority, and nursing on demand might not be every breast feeding mom's #1 priority, and breast feeding on demand until they have self weaned is definitely not every breast feeding mom's #1 priority... But who is anyone to bash, judge, criticize, or question it being mine. 

To nurse on demand until my children self-wean isn't a ridiculous thing. To give my children exactly what I believe will be most beneficial to them exactly when they want it and need it is not ridiculous. 

But, somehow, it's okay for other people to judge and criticize this.

"You need to be able to go out and spend time alone." 
- who are YOU to tell me what I need? 

"That child will be just fine without you." 
- okay, God forbid something happened to me... Yes, my children would survive. Why is this being discussed?

"___________ event is VERY important. You need to go. Baby will be fine with a sitter/grandparent." 
Apparently ___________ event is more important to YOU than my breastfeeding relationship with my child/children, but I can assure you, I do not feel the same way. Just because I don't, does not give anyone any right to criticize me. 

With both of my boys, I have encountered many people who made lots of these comments and similar ones. I understand that no one in mine or Jack's immediate family had breastfeeding on demand until their child self weaned as their #1 parenting priority while their children were small, that doesn't make my priority any less important. 

To me, it's normal and natural for me to always be with my babies. I'm their mother and they are my nurslings. It's normal and expected to me that anywhere I go, my nurslings also go. The main part of nursing on demand is to actually be there to do that. 

I have met so much opposition on this subject and for some reason the people who oppose the most are personally offended. Nursing on demand has nothing to do with anyone else other than my children. 

I don't care that other people want to feed my baby. That's my job, and a job I take very seriously. Above everything else. 

I don't know if its that people are projecting how they feel about how they raised their own children, or if they are jealous of me not sharing the part of my children's raising that only belongs to me. I really have no idea what it is, but I am pretty sick of how many out there don't have respect for the decision of a mother and the benefits to an exclusively breastfed child.  


9 comments:

  1. I am so proud of you and how you are feeding and taking care of your little ones. People need to stop sticking their noses into private lives and to places they don't belong. People also need to start realizing that just because they didn't do it doesn't mean that it isn't right for you and your family.

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    1. Thank you Lenee! I appreciate that!

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  3. I am so proud of you and how you are raising your children. People need to stop judging others because what they did for their children isn't what you are doing. You are doing what is right for your family and your children. Also people need to stop sicking their noses into people private lives and casting judgement. They aren't you and you are doing what is best for your family.

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  4. Unfortunately people will always have an opinion on how we raise our children. If it's not breastfeeding it will be something else. For me it was homeschooling. If I had listened to all the negativity and acted on their advice, I would have missed out on some wonderful family memories. Both my daughters are now grown and happily employed in aged care....time passes and your little ones will grow up, so please, don't let other people's negativity rob you of what you will look back on as some of the most precious years of motherhood.

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