Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Judgment

I am assuming that the copious amount of judgy comments I get about my parenting has to be a direct correlation with how public I am about our life and my choices as a mom.

A lot of it rolls off my back and a lot of it I'm easily able to ignore, but there are times when comments or actions of others will be the make-it-or-break-it point in our relationship. 

I've had "friends" bash me behind my back only to hear about it through the grape vine. I think the ones that tick me off the most are those without children bashing me. 

John 15:18-20

18 If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.

19 If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.

20 Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also.

 
It feels like judgment that I get is insecurity on others part. I will not apologize for parenting the best way that I know how. 

I don't care if people think there's something wrong with us for letting our children sleep in our bed with us. Our children feel safe and loved, even while they sleep. 

When people judge us and say things to the effect of us not having intimate time, I know now its a reflection of their own life, not mine. Our children are 15 months apart. There's obviously no lacking of intimate time. It appears as though we are more capable of staying close as husband and wife where other people are projecting their own issues on us. The bed is all you've got? Don't feel sorry for me, friend, I feel sorry for you if children sleeping in your bed or your room completely derails your relationship with your spouse. 


The same goes for Breastfeeding. Partly ignorance, but mostly jealousy and insecurity. I know I'm doing the VERY best that I can for my children. Their immune systems are constantly boosted, their gut isn't struggling to break down highly processed genetically modified calories. They have the ultimate comfort whenever and where ever they need. If people see fault or have a problem with that, it's not because I'm doing anything wrong. 

I'm being judged lately for our spiritual convictions as well. I can only assume that us living out our faith makes those who talk the talk and don't walk the walk uncomfortable. We are NO WHERE NEAR perfect people, but God brought us through the trial of infertility to change our hearts and teach us faith and trust and hope in Christ alone. We trust God with every aspect if our lives, why is it so bizarre that we also trust God with our fertility? 


Just my thoughts this morning. 

3 comments:

  1. Preach it sister! You have to do what's best for your family. I know that I could never handle having my kids sleep in our bed or our room, but why should I judge you for what you do?! That's not fair!

    I appreciate you and encourage you to continue living out your faith and obedience to God. It's not easy, but it will be worth it. In the end your faith will be stronger and I truly believe that you will continue to be blessed for your faith. Blessings to you! Be encouraged.

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  2. I love your blog, and I love your youtube videos too! I feel like we have so much in common and I can relate so much to this post! Our parenting styles are basically the same so it's awesome to follow you on your journey of parenting. Thanks for sharing. and I love bedsharing! we had planned to use a crib and have our baby in a separate room but everything changed when he was born! It is sooo much easier and I feel so much more comfortable having him sleep with us. I feel judged A LOT about that... but everyone has to do whats best for their family. thank you so much for sharing your lives with us! You're a great example to so many people and the thing I love the most is how honest you are about your beliefs. thank you!

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  3. BOTH of my boys slept in our bed from birth until 2.5 years old. And my daughter is 2 and is doing the same, maybe longer! My boys are 15 & 12 and have completely normal lives. My husband and I have been blessed us with 5 children, of are in heaven and three hanging here with us. It is totally fine. It's more than fine. My husband and I have never regretted co sleeping with the boys or our daughter. It feels/ felt natural and our family bond is so strong! Up until we had Quinn, they would sleep in my bed when my husband would go away for work trips. I doubt that would happen now...they are HUGE, and even our E King bed is too small. Keep on doing what your doing!!!!

    Vicki

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